Field Notes from a Neurodivergent Household
Week 5: Capacity Is Increasing
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My knitting light in my room is the only one on.
Everything else is dim.
The bunny is in my lap.
I push the needle through and pull the yarn tight, then stop and look at it.
The first version curled in on itself.
Too tight.
I pulled it out and dropped the yarn on the table and started again.
This one sits flatter.
I turn it over and check the front.
Press on it with my thumb.
It holds.
I am waiting for my husband to get home.
Earlier, my seven-year-old held the bunny, an Easter gift for my grandson, out in front of him and looked at it.
Long enough that I waited.
“It doesn’t have a G-tube.”
He handed it back. Grandson has a G-tube. I see the problem.
The house has more space in it now.
Not empty.
Just less compressed.
People are in different rooms.
Doors are closed more often.
Movement doesn’t stack on top of itself the same way.
The boys are using an app to clock in and out for their work in our home.
One of them came in, opened it, and started his time without saying anything.
He moved straight through the block.
No renegotiation.
No checking back in.
When he finished, he logged out and left.
The work was done.
I did not track it.
The fourteen-year-old came home, dropped his backpack in the same place, and sat down at the table.
He opened his laptop and started.
He got up once to get a drink and came back.
He stayed until it was finished.
No one followed him.
The younger kids left with their backpacks and went to their brother and sister-in-law’s house.
They came back with their work done.
Shoes off.
Backpacks down.
No loose papers.
Outside, the house is half-painted.
The new paint is clean.
It stops in a straight line where the old paint begins.
The ladder is still leaning against the wall.
The rollers are sitting in a tray that has started to dry around the edges.
Inside, the living room walls are finished.
The paint is bright enough that I notice it when I walk through.
Corners are clean.
A chair has moved back into place.
A blanket is folded over the arm.
It looks like a room that is being used again.
I set a day and time for a knitting group.
I wrote it down and sent it out.
No plan beyond that.
I am phasing out Tiktok. Can’t pretend I don’t hate it anymore.
Writing more.
Thinking about workshops.
Phasing into Youtube. More my vibe.
Easter things are on the counter.
The bunny is there now.
There are still moments where something in my chest tightens.
