Field Notes from a Neurodivergent Household
Week 2: When One Nervous System Moves Faster Than the Room
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There are currently ten humans living in this house.
On most days there are also one or two additional teenagers orbiting through the kitchen.
The seven-year-old moves through the house making sound effects.
They come in rhythmic rapid bursts. A few seconds of quiet movement, then a sudden volley of noises as he crosses a room or picks up a new object. If he is excited the bursts repeat faster and louder, like punctuation attached to motion.
He is profoundly ADHD.
Most of the time the ecosystem absorbs this without much trouble. The ten-year-old will join him outside for volleyball or basketball. I try to get him out on his scooter most evenings. He stims freely. There are fidgets scattered through the house.
But the friction point right now is proximity.
The grandbaby is fascinating.
Small. Expressive. Always at eye level.
The seven-year-old gravitates toward him immediately. Gets in his face. Makes noises. Attempts interaction at a speed the baby does not always appreciate.
Sometimes objects fly through the air without much warning. Sometimes someone gets bumped or hit. Sometimes the baby laughs, which unfortunately makes the entire interaction more exciting.
The older half of the household is struggling with this.
Teenagers. Young adults. Friends of teenagers who wander through the house and suddenly find themselves in the middle of a very energetic child.
Their frustration makes sense. It is genuinely hard to concentrate, hold a conversation, or hold a baby when someone nearby is operating at a completely different speed and volume.
But snapping or yelling has become the reflex response for some people.
We are trying to shift that pattern as a family.
Kind but firm.
Which turns out to be harder than it sounds when you come from a snap-and-yell background.
Everyone is practicing. Sometimes it works. Sometimes the room still spikes.
The real question right now is not whether the seven-year-old has energy.
The question is how this ecosystem holds when one nervous system moves faster than the rest.
