Behavior is not a diagnosis
The email has been sitting there for six days. Waiting.
I read it. I have some idea of how to respond. I’ve opened it and closed it four different times.
If you asked me why, I’d probably say I’m procrastinating. Avoiding it. I’m just overwhelmed.
But as a coach, I know that if you looked at five different people in my situation you will find five different reasons. One is grieving something unrelated and doesn’t have the energy. Hasn’t switched gears back. One doesn’t know where to start. One is afraid of the reply that will come back. One has simply run out of capacity for the day. One doesn’t actually care about the outcome anymore and doesn’t know that is allowed.
It’s the same email. The same six days. But completely different problems underneath. All of us.
Behavior tells you what happened. It does not tell you why.
Most of us aren’t thinking to look at that at all. We see the unanswered email, and we know the verdict. We are lazy, undisciplined procrastinators. We are not trying hard enough. Not organized. Not motivated. Oh, that elusive motivation!
Whatever the first explanation that comes to mind, we treat it as an official diagnosis.
I’m spending an hour tomorrow night pulling this apart. The religious training that made ambiguity feel unsafe, the ADHD wiring that needs a concrete first step, and what actually closes the gap between knowing and doing. Tomorrow night, Tuesday, July 7th, 7 MT (Arizona). Free for CNRS members here, free for paid subscribers here.