Oh how I can relate! And now that my children are adults, I still feel myself falling into the trap. Add into this coming out as lesbian at 54...talk about not knowing oneself and mourning all the lost possibilities. Luckily, we get to make choices, every day. I'm not sure how I would have navigated this (leaving Mormonism, coming out, etc.) if my kids had still been young and in the house. Thank you for your thoughts. Your words really resonated.
Thank you for this. Coming out at 54 on top of leaving the church is SO much unknowing and re-knowing at once. All those lost possibilities stack up, don’t they? And you are so right. The trap doesn’t disappear once the kids are grown! Which is both comforting and terrifying. It makes me think this is less something we fix and more something we keep choosing, like you said. Every day. I’m so glad it resonated. And I’m glad you’re here.
It’s holding space for both/and. I can mourn the loss and be thrilled by finding myself. Being in one’s integrity doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you don’t wrestle with things. But when I choose my integrity it just means after the wrestle I’m feeling more while, complete, and honestly happy. And again, being happy about where I’m at now doesn’t negate the grief. It doesn’t mean I’m unhappy with my past choices. It just leaves me feeling so much more solid, if that makes sense. There’s a deep felt sense of rightness in my life, despite the challenges.
Ha! Well, I was right there with you writing it, so you’re in excellent company. 🫶 Thank you for reading, and for letting it hit you. That hallway moment seems to land hard for a lot of us.
Brittany, this is so good. Hearing the story from a Moms perspective. Showing up to the life I got. I love this. Thanks. We need more of this from a womans perspective and from a moms perspective. Again, thanks.
Thank you! “Showing up to the life I got” is exactly it. Not the one we were promised or the one we might have picked. But the one actually in front of us at five o’clock with smelly dishes in the sink. I’m really glad the mom perspective landed for you. I think so many of us spent years assuming our version of this was just a personal failing, and it helps so much to hear it out loud!
Oh how I can relate! And now that my children are adults, I still feel myself falling into the trap. Add into this coming out as lesbian at 54...talk about not knowing oneself and mourning all the lost possibilities. Luckily, we get to make choices, every day. I'm not sure how I would have navigated this (leaving Mormonism, coming out, etc.) if my kids had still been young and in the house. Thank you for your thoughts. Your words really resonated.
Thank you for this. Coming out at 54 on top of leaving the church is SO much unknowing and re-knowing at once. All those lost possibilities stack up, don’t they? And you are so right. The trap doesn’t disappear once the kids are grown! Which is both comforting and terrifying. It makes me think this is less something we fix and more something we keep choosing, like you said. Every day. I’m so glad it resonated. And I’m glad you’re here.
It’s holding space for both/and. I can mourn the loss and be thrilled by finding myself. Being in one’s integrity doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you don’t wrestle with things. But when I choose my integrity it just means after the wrestle I’m feeling more while, complete, and honestly happy. And again, being happy about where I’m at now doesn’t negate the grief. It doesn’t mean I’m unhappy with my past choices. It just leaves me feeling so much more solid, if that makes sense. There’s a deep felt sense of rightness in my life, despite the challenges.
That wasn’t me sobbing by the first few paragraphs. 🫣
Ha! Well, I was right there with you writing it, so you’re in excellent company. 🫶 Thank you for reading, and for letting it hit you. That hallway moment seems to land hard for a lot of us.
Brittany, this is so good. Hearing the story from a Moms perspective. Showing up to the life I got. I love this. Thanks. We need more of this from a womans perspective and from a moms perspective. Again, thanks.
Thank you! “Showing up to the life I got” is exactly it. Not the one we were promised or the one we might have picked. But the one actually in front of us at five o’clock with smelly dishes in the sink. I’m really glad the mom perspective landed for you. I think so many of us spent years assuming our version of this was just a personal failing, and it helps so much to hear it out loud!
I love this!!
Thank you! I'm glad it resonated.